My Extreme Fear of Don’t-Shave-December

Good afternoon dear readers,

Today might be something of a rant, I must apologize. But this issue has been bothering me for awhile so it’s time to get down and dirty and talk about the one and only… Don’t Shave December.

I’m sorry… this topic might seem quite random. But, in fact, today I just couldn’t stop staring at all of these high school boys who were participating in this lovely event. The beard specimens ranged from a collection of peach fuzz to full out beards that reminded me of the guys from Duck Dynasty. Catch my drift?

Duck Dynasty stars 660 AP

Ok. So these 4 men might be able to pull off the bearded look. But on 17 year old guys? It’s not a good look.

For any of you guys out there who might be reading this… here’s your chance to get some expert advice. See, sure some guys look amazing with hair on their faces. Let me give you some examples. Johnny Depp (ahhh don’t get me started on him <3), Jake Gyllenhaal, George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, and Bradley Coooper are my personal favorites. But, beards on most guys? I mean, come on. They usually just make you look like you’ve decided to become a caveman.

I’m not trying to hate on all the guys that put in so much effort just to feel like a man. Some (correction… like 2) guys I saw today were actually quite attractive. But, all those others. Man, please please please just shave it off already so us girls don’t have to stare in disgust all the time. A lot of guys already shaved when No Shave November ended, but those who are continuing the fad… well just let me suggest that you find a new hobby. I had it personally explained to me today that there is now such thing as Don’t Shave December, Jungle January, Fuzzy February, Mustache March, and even Ape April. Seriously guys? I also had it explained to me that these months allow men to grow more “bestial”, “brutish”, and “manly” (these were the actual adjectives used in this conversation).

Teenage guys with stubby beards. I just want you to picture this for a moment. They walk around the halls and puff out their chests and act all cool and manly. I can imagine the little freshmen talking to their friends: “Look at all of the upperclassmen with beards! They look so tough and awesome! We should make it our number 1 goal in life to grow beards too. We could look like them!”.

Sorry, I’ll stop with my rant now. But if you only take away one thing from this post, make it this: beards, for the most part, are unattractive, and they make you look like mountain men. And where I live, in Washington state, the guys already look like mountain men enough without having to grow beards on top of it.

The effect of this mountain man look is somewhat like this lovely picture I found… just imagine teenagers and a more stubbley look.

mountain-man

You’re very welcome for that lovely image (;

Anyway, I’ll just be glad that the guy I like hasn’t decided to follow this particular fashion trend.

ta ta for now!
Isi.